We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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