I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
