a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
