i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Acid is not a monday night drug
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
