Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
