Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
