WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
