you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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