If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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