dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
