And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I need a beard to bite.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
