If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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