Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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