the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
