i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
