Yo dont text me then not text me
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
