She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh god it's open bar.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize