So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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