Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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