i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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