big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
