That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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