Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
