if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
