I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
