Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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