am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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