you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
