Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize