I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
