I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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