i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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