i don't like sucking hair
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
