is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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