If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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