It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
