think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
