i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
