You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize