Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
