i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
