Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
