i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
