If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
