Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
