Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize