its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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