ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize