worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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