Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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