So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize