apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
