gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i will never coherently bang her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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