i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
