She said her name was "party"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
