She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i drank out of a bidet.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
