i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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