help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
