Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
