I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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