what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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