Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
