I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
