tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
