Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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