So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize