Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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