After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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