My first STD was from a foam party
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
