well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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