new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
