I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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