She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
