remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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