the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
