I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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