So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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