I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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